Our Mulit-function printer (not the one pictured at right, which I borrowed from the Internet, but one rather like it), works quite well. Really well, in fact, and we use it plugged into our wireless router so all three of us can print with it, wire-free. But for scanning, you have to do some cable-rearranging.You see, our printer is wrapped in a shiny black plastic case just like the one here. This means that icons or instructions embossed into it are rendered invisible to anyone over the age of 35. Which includes this writer and a lot of other humans who find office machine design thoughtless at best, or anyone with even the most minor visual impairment (which includes anyone peeking over to the dark, backside of a printer pushed against a wall, where it always lives: except in some Epson design center, perhaps—sorry printer-maker, its tough love).
To use the scanner, we have to unplug the USB cable from the router, and plugging in a USB cable attached to the nearby desktop computer, which has the scanning drivers loaded into PhotoShop. Sounds simple, right? Just a couple of steps. If only.
I count at least 25. Here’s the actual activity sequence.
1. Remove the existing cable that goes to the wireless modem. The cable promptly drops behind the file cabinet on which the printer rests, next to the wall (the printer sits on this low file cabinet). (Since it dropped, you can't tell the orientation of the business end of the USB cable).
2. Get on knees, grub around for the long end of the cable, pull it out of the crack between file cabinet and wall, and in the process, dislodge the cable from under the bit of wood flooring, the edge of which had covered the cable as it crossed a threshold.
3. Stick the cable back under the wood flooring so no one trips.
4. Get some scotch tape and tape the plug-in end of the USB cable to the file cabinet so it won’t fall down.
5. Find the desktop’s USB cable. That’s easy. Locate the plug-in end.
6. Try to reach behind the printer and plug in the chord.
7. Try again. The first orientation was wrong.
8. It is not going in. So, lean the printer over so you can try to see the USB plug in.
9. The business of leaning the computer over has unplugged the power chord. Power chord drops to the floor.
10. Get down on the floor again, pick up the power chord, and try to find a place to put it where you can reach it when you stand up again. This fails, as the chord is rather short and you don’t have a convenient outlet by this cabinet.
11. Get the scotch tape again. Tape the chord to the file cabinet.
12. Back to standing position (you’ve been on the floor twice now). Lean the printer over. You can’t see any indication on the black plastic to help you know how the cable is to be inserted. Its as little dark back there behind the printer, after all.
13. Move the papers off the top of the cabinet so you can turn the printer into the light, and
14. Move the desk light over closer to the printer. Get down on the floor again.
15. On your knees on the floor, with eye glasses off, a nearsighted person can make out the orientation of the plug-in.
16. Make a mental note of blood pressure, as you really wanted to scan a document for a client who you’ve told you would and could easily scan and send something promptly, and promptly was over with five minutes ago.
17. The phone rings. Compose yourself. Stand up again, dropping the chord behind the file cabinet one more time in the process.
18. Talk on the phone to another client (we are a micro-biz, so there is no one to else around today to answer the phone). Finish the call and hang up.
19. Back on your knees again to get the cable fished out, stay on your knees.
20. Insert the cable. Stand up.
21. Try to turn on the machine.
22. The machine won’t turn on because it is still unplugged.
23. Stifle the urge to throw the whole thing out the window and buy a manual typewriter and a stack of carbon paper with which to replace all your computers and printers.
24. Back on your knees to fish out the power cable which has fallen, again behind the cabinet (scotch tape wasn’t really designed to hold stuff like your power chord).
25. Plug in the printer and find your document and scan it at last.
Now, wasn't that a pain in the butt?

